Authentic Love

My life is changing.
the first day at the care point in Timbutini a little boy, whose name I now know to be Thabani, came running up to me for me to hold him.  I am disguted with myself to say this, but I did not pick him up.  His nose was running down his face and his drool had soaked his shirt.  Part of me was scared. Part of me was grossed out. Part of me was in shock. You only hear about these stories, this isn't real life... but it is.  All of this time I have been so excited to be here for the kids, to DEFEND THE ORPHANS. And all of this time I had no idea what I was getting myself into.
That night when I got home, I was extremely convicted by the Lord for the way that I treated that little boy.  My Jesus holds me when I am snotting and drooling all over.  My Jesus holds me when I am sad.  My Jesus holds me when I need to feel love.  My Jesus does not look at me and see the mess that I am, He looks at me and He sees the creation He made, perfectly in His image.  He loves me just the way I am & that is what He has called me to Swaziland to share with these people.
The next day I went back to the Timbutini care point and when Thabani ran up to me, I loved him.  I picked him up, I hugged him, I danced with him, I tickled him, I prayed over him and yes, I let him drool all over me!! He was really interested in my hair so I took it out of my hair tie and bandana and I let him play with it.  He twisted it and pulled it and tried to put it in a pony tail.  Thabani laughed and he drooled and showed me love as best as he knew how to.  I spoke to one of the older Swazi ladies and found out that Thabani is mentally disabled.  He is the oldest child in his family and he is unable to hear or to speak (so she says).  I know that his condition is not true. When I say his name, he smiles.  When I asked him, "do you know Jesus?" He smiles. He can hear and he is learning to speak, it just takes some extra love and patience.
Friday, I held Thabani in my lap and he locked his legs around my back an held on tight with his hand behind my neck.  I sat down in the dirt and leaned up against the outside of the church.  Thabani let hi arms fall into my lap, propped his legs up on either side of me and laid his head on my chest.  Seconds later, we fell asleep.  This kid is changing my life and he doesn't even know it.  I am learning what it means to love the way Jesus loves.  I am learning acceptance.  I am learning who I am an who Jesus ha created me to be.
Life here is much different.  Words are being given faces and I can feel my heart breaking.
Orphan - has multiple faces, siblings, feelings, stories.
HIV/AIDS - has multiple faces, families, feelings, stories.
Poverty - has multiple faces, families, feelings, stories & usually still smiles.

Mom & Dad **
Don't worry, Swaziland makes it next to impossible to adopt their children.  I would be bringing any of them home physically but I will be bringing all that they have taught me and I cannot wait to share their love and smiles with you.  I wish you were here to meet them, the know LIFE and they know LOVE. 
Ps. Don't worry, I am safe.  Jesus is walking with me and He is leading me.  I promise. <3 I love you to Afrika and back a bajillion times!!

Peace, Love, Blessings & VICTORY in Jesus!!