Sunday, December 4, 2011

Dignified by Indignity

December 3, is International Disability day. This year, more than ever, this day has actually stayed in my heart and I wonder how many of us know about this day that celebrates our brothers and sisters with disabilites. 

For me this day, particularly this year, reminded my of a good friend and brother, Joshua Simelane and so I decided to share this article I wrote about him in April 2005, the first time we spent time together. I hope his story inspires you as much as it inspired my life.

Joshua's Story

Although it is nestled behind tall trees in a small valley, finding Joshua Simelane’s home in hilly rural Maliyaduma wasn’t difficult at all. 

Much to my disbelief and shock, he had indeed accurately narrated the directions to me; “From the main road, drive about two to three kilometers past two gorges and then past Maliyaduma Primary School, shortly thereafter you will see a small grocery store and right there you can ask anyone where Joshua Simelane’s home is and they will know”. 

He owns a cellphone but sending the direction by SMS or drawing them wasn’t an option for Joshua because he is blind.
He is a born achiever and currently holds the titles of Programs Coordinator of the Federation of the Disabled in Swaziland and Development Director of the Association of the Visually Impaired. 

“But those are just titles,” he had said in our first meeting in his office in the capital city Mbabane. What matters most for him is being a; husband, father, educator, leader and humanitarian and yet he remains one of Swaziland’s unsung heroes.

“Where is Joshua Simelane’s home” I ask two boys who are selling ice under a tree outside the defunct store. They point towards a teenage girl and she tells me she will take me there – she’s Joshua’s niece. She tells me her uncle is cool but doesn’t like people who are full of shit. “He believes in not sparing the rod and no child dares take advantage of his disability by running away from punishment because he runs faster than a rabbit”.

At the entrance of the unfenced yard there’s a small house currently under construction. I park my car next to a big goods shed, which I soon figure is also used as a kitchen. 

Tiny but seemingly healthy Joshua emerges from between the small house and what I later learn is the parents’ house on my left. He is smartly dressed in denim jeans and a navy blue gold shirt. 

He is wearing his trademark Afro and glasses but carries no walking stick. “I don’t use a walking stick when I’m here at home nor in Mbabane or Manzini. I use it when I’m in foreign cities like Jo’burg, Pretoria, Europe and the like,” he explains casually. 

We exchange pleasantries after which he finally exclaims proudly “Welcome to my home, this is it, Maliyaduma”.

Maliyaduma is on the outskirts of Swaziland’s second biggest town Manzini and it is where Joshua Dumsani Simelane was born 32 years ago. He is the last born child in a family of 13 children but he is the first and only blind person in his family. 

Being the first was later to become a trend for Joshua, not only within his family but in the while country. He was the first blind person to get married to a completely able-bodied person in 1997, a move which later inspired four other similar couples. 

He was the first blind person in his family and nationally to hold a BA degree after completing high school education at St. Josephs School for the disabled. 

He is also the first blind author of a book and newspaper column in Swaziland and as he continues to let me into who he really is, it seems he is not about to give up being first just yet.

 “I’m currently negotiating with the vice-chancellor of the University of Swaziland to provide Braille facilities so that blind people can also study whatever they want after high school. 

As it is, our dreams as disabled people are being limited and our choices being made for us by the education system in this country…switchboard operator – that’s all we were told we could do after high school. No!  As a humanitarian I don’t think this is just,” he says eloquently as we go through his library.

Joshua’s library takes up a small section of his one-roomed house but it is a very huge part of his life. The library is a wall unit, which divides the room into two rooms; a bedroom and a sitting area. 

He tells me the library is his favourite section because he loves reading and writing. “it is difficult to read the books in print form now because my wife Nonhlanhla, who stays with our daughter in Ntfonjeni where she is a primary school teacher usually reads for me and now she only comes home on weekends”. 

Ntfonjeni is in the northern part of the country; about two hours drive from his home. This weekend his wife couldn’t come home because she had to attend a colleague’s funeral. 

“At least when I was pursuing my BA degree in Theology which I began in 1997 she was always there because the college had no Braille facilities. Actually they had refused to admit me for a long time until I got married. 

I was allowed to study on condition m wife and I both enrolled so that she could take notes and read for me. So eventually we both benefited because she also now holds the same degree.”

Their studying years were one of the most difficult episodes in their new lives together. Unlike almost all Swazi children whose tertiary education is entirely funded by government, Joshua’s was self-funded. 

“Government refused me a scholarship stating that the college I had chosen was not among those approved for payment by government. It would be better if I were studying my programme as the University of Swaziland, which in my case was obviously impractical because this institution does not offer the course and doesn’t have Braille facilities”.

Even more frustrating was that at this time Joshua did not hold a paying job but was a volunteer for a struggling disability movement so it was difficult to gather tuition fees for the couple while also trying to develop their new home. Nevertheless this didn’t stop him from fulfilling his dream. 

As a volunteer he would get to travel outside the country to countries as far away as Japan and it is these trips that later helped pay for his education. He had been a volunteer since 1995 and every time he had a trip he saved his travel allowances. 

The Bible Evangelism Fund and some friends of his from overseas also helped with the couples’ tuition. “Hopefully the situation will be bearable when I do my MA in about two years time,” he adds. His medium-term goal is becoming a university lecturer “to facilitate effective change in admitting blind students to tertiary institutions”.

I spot three journalism books in his library alongside large files, which he tells me are books translated from print to Braille. “You love journalism too?” I ask after seeing the books. He obviously knows his house like the back of his hand because he immediately ouches all three books without hesitation and nonchalantly says, “Actually I’m a broadcaster and a writer”. 

His column in The Voice newspaper goes by the title “Breaking Barriers” and like his radio talk-show “Christian Welfare” on The Voice of the Church Radio (VOC), is and advocacy outlet for disadvantaged people but more particularly the disabled. 

He has been a volunteer radio show host at VOC for ten years now. As soon as his book hits the bookshelves he will go down in Swaziland’s history as the first blind author of a book. Joshua fancies himself as a spiritual teacher and leader, which is portrayed in his book “Dignified by Indignity”. 

“It’s in the pipeline and it emphasizes that if you are at a disadvantage as a person you should use your obstacles and disadvantages as strengths”. This is the same philosophy Joshua has lived by most of his life. He confesses the book’s title describes his life in a nutshell.

“At first it wasn’t easy for me to accept my disability. I was two years old when I became completely blind. It was tough. Whenever my family went somewhere I had to stay behind and sometimes alone, I was told I would be a “burden”. 

I know they might have said this in good faith but it didn’t prevent the hurt and humiliation I felt. I didn’t attend school when the time came because my parents didn’t know where to take me or if I would ever be able to learn. I was sad most of the time”.

He vividly recalls a time when he felt that way. One night when I was 12, a year before he started primary school, his strongly religious family left for night revivals in the neighborhood leaving him alone. 

His elder sister, the only person who had ever cared and stood by his side no matter what, had just passed away and he had never felt so lonely and empty. “I loved her and she had left this house and its contents and everything else she owned to me and that night in knew that if she was still around she would have taken me with to church. 

I was angry with God for making me blind and I wanted to kill myself. Two more attempts followed when he was 13 with weevil tablets and when he was 14 with a concoction of pesticides, paraffin and Jeyes fluid but “to my disappointment I was still alive,” he says with a giggle.

That wasn’t the only rough patch in his unmarried life. After courting Nonhlanhla for three years they decided it was time to make it official but it seemed he had to move another mountain to make that happen. 

His in-laws could not accept a blind husband for their daughter into their family, insults were hurled…"But this time, although the rejection brought as much hurt, it was much easier to deal with it because I had repented and offered my life to Christ and my wife was also a praying woman and you’d be surprised to see how much respect my in-laws give me today. I paid lobola and to date have fulfilled my responsibilities and duties as a husband, father and son-in-law”.  I’m suddenly curious to know how they met.

“We met in a bus; we were sitting next to each other. I think I have a sixth sense. I just sensed her positive energy and knew instantly that she was a good person.

I’m naturally sociable but I began by asking for the time and then we spoke about general issues until we reached our destination. 

After a few weeks we met again in a bus and I told her I loved her and would love for her to be my wife one day. She said she would think and pray about it.”

Nonhlanhla admits it wasn’t a comfortable position to be in although to some degree it made sense that a disabled person like Joshua would ask for her hand in marriage. 

“It was a bit scary because a few days before we first met, God had sent me a vision of a disabled person and told me this would be the person I would marry so when he asked me out I was overwhelmed with trepidation. 

I tried to run away from the whole thing…I mean why should I be with a blind person for the rest of my life? 

But on the other hand I knew this was God’s will because the visions didn’t stop coming, the pressure from Above was too much,” she narrated later in a telephone conversation. 

Eventually, after praying earnestly about it she agreed to have a romantic relationship with Joshua.  “I’m glad I respected God’s will because Joshua is a good, reliable and responsible man.”

Joshua is eager to show me the new house he’s building so we move towards the yard entrance. The way he moves around from room to room makes me forget that he’s blind. We start in the office; next door is the library and the last room a conference room. 

“In fact I will only be using as a house for a short while”. Through a space designated for a window he points outside to where his “real house” will be. “By the way I laid every brick you see on this house myself and all that s left for me to do is fit the roof, windows and doors as you can see”. 

As if he read the “But how?” written on my face, he quickly explains “I just call on my nieces if I need help with finding anything”. Not even a middle-class Swazi and especially not a blind person is expected to have such facilities at home, let alone in a rural home, but with Joshua these are a priority. 

“My wife and I are social counselors as well as marriage counselors and we need space because as it is throngs of people visit us here at home for our services and as a provider of such services we need to be up to date with information and research which is why we have a library”.

Although earlier he told me he doesn’t take much pride in his achievements, Joshua is clearly proud of what he has made of himself and for himself. It is evident as he stretches his arms to show me his crops on his vast fields. 

I can also tell as he peeps through my car window beaming with a “Colgate smile” to say “You know what my daughter’s pre-occupation is lately? ‘Daddy when am I getting a baby brother?’ and he burst into a loud laugh. 

Their daughter Fundizwi is five years old. As I start the engine his niece presents me with a big sack of peanuts – fresh from Joshua’s garden.
*****************
Joshua died a few months ago. May your soul rest in peace Joshua. And may your wife Nonhlanhla and daughter Fundizwi never underestimate how much greatness has surrounded them all these years. 

I hope they continue to carry the lessons you had for us all. You truly touched my life in an amazing way and I’m thankful to have known you. I will always hold dear the lessons learnt from you. 

Thank you.

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